Unapologetically Pro Life

You shall not murder. Exodus 20:13

Murder. Retzach (Hebrew): to break, to dash to pieces, to destroy; to slay, kill, murder. The taking of innocent life.

We can look at our American history, and find one incident after another of retzach on a mass scale.

• On April 19, 1995, the Oklahoma City bombing claimed 168 lives, including 19 children under the age of six.  
• On April 20, 1999, two teenaged boys murdered twelve fellow students and a teacher at the Columbine High School in Colorado.
• On September 11, 2001, 2,753 men, women, and children lost their lives when hijackers flew three airliners into the Twin Towers and the Pentagon.
• On October 2, 2006 a man murdered five girls at an Amish one-room schoolhouse in Nickel Mines, PA.
• Twelve people, one of them a six year old girl, were lost when a gunman opened fire in a packed theater in Aurora, CO on July 20, 2012.
• The Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting on December 14, 2012 claimed the lives of twenty first-graders and six adults.

You must not make the land where you live unclean. The land is not holy when people are killed. And only the blood of him who is guilty can pay to make the land free from the blood that has fallen on it. Numbers 35:33 NLV

I don't believe there is one among us who is not appalled, repulsed, and horrified by those six examples listed above. These are unthinkable events. The loss of innocent life through murder is astounding.

An area more debated is that of wartime loss of life, particularly when we judge the loss of life of our "enemies." Many people are not aware that the US has been executing airstrikes - both manned and unmanned - on the nations of Pakistan, Yemen, and Somalia at an increasing pace. Consider the following statistics from these three nations:

• From 2004 to September, 2012, Pakistan has lost 2,570-3,337 people. 474-884 were listed as civilians; 176 of them were children.
• From 2002 to September, 2012, as many as 1,026 have been killed in Yemen through airstrikes. Between 60 and 163 of those killed were civilians, 24-34 of them children
• From 2007 to September, 2012 US airstrikes have claimed 56-170 lives in Somalia, as many as 57 of them civilians, three of those children.

Now, when you see how much greater the number of casualties is than the number of civilians, consider the following: When tallying casualties, the CIA counts all military-aged men as combatants. This is a mind-blowing thing to consider. This is unthinkable loss of life.

Whoever sheds human blood, by humans shall their blood be shed;
for in the image of God has God made mankind. Genesis 9:6

 The destruction of innocent life grieves me. This is why I am completely, unapologetically, pro-life.

This week, I turn 40. 40 years ago, I was born with a severely clubbed foot. I underwent two corrective surgeries, and had a childhood of corrective shoes and physical therapy and doctor's appointments, which must have been an immense financial burden to my parents.

This week also sees the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, legislation which made abortion legalized in this nation. In the last 40 years, the United States has seen approximately 54 million abortions.

 Because of Roe v. Wade, I was given the option to terminate my pregnancies, should they be inconvenient, difficult, or result in damaged children. I will never, ever forget my first visit with my obstetrician in the early glow of my first pregnancy thirteen years ago. I will never, ever forget the horror with which I heard him ask me, "If your baby is seen to have a clubbed foot, will you choose to terminate the pregnancy?" In other words, if your baby is inconvenient, imperfect, of less worth, like you, do you want to scrap it and try over?

We have been taught and conditioned to believe that abortion has nothing to do with ending a life. We have been taught and conditioned to believe that it's simply expelling a complex tissue mass. And I believed that those who champion "choice" believed that to be true; that they could not possibly champion a cause believing in their hearts that each abortion ended a baby's life. Then I came across an article that contained the following quotes:

"I performed abortions, I have had an abortion and I am in favor of women having abortions when we choose to do so. But we should never disregard the fact that being pregnant means there is a baby growing inside of a woman, a baby whose life is ended. We ought not to pretend this is not happening." Judith Arcana, 1999

"[The idea of] dismembering a baby and pulling it out in pieces … is obviously horrific. But at the same time, it is easy to get caught up in that emotion." Julia Black, 2004 ABC interview regarding her film, My Fetus

"Abortion is in some sense an act of violence, and indisputably results in the termination of a life." Kathleen McDonnell, 2003, from her book Not An Easy Choice: A Feminist Re-examines Abortion

"Most of the abortions in America are about convenience. People need to accept abortion for what it is: a valid part of the reproductive spectrum. I want it to be seen as normal; if 1.3 million women in this country have one every year, it’s gotta be normal... I remember feeling conflicted about the magic of being pregnant. I felt electricity running through my body. Not for a minute did I not think of it as a life. I knew it was a baby." Penny Lane, 2004 Salon Magazine interview

In my heart of hearts, I believe abortion of convenience is murder. It is retzach. I have felt life growing within me, felt the flutters and kicks beneath my heart, seen my twelve-week-gestational jelly beans and heard their hearts beat. And as we observe this milestone anniversary, my heart breaks.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
    you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
    I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
    you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
    before I’d even lived one day. Psalm 139:13-16 MSG

It's Not a Matter of "If"

Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him... Job 13: 15a

This phrase is what ran through my head as I drove home from the cancer center on Friday. I required a shot to boost my immune system, which I knew would be painful for days to come. I had been so excited when my oncologist said I could do without it after my last treatment; now I was deeply disappointed to have required this shot after all, and drove home knowing that my compromised immunity might very well mean that my return to teaching preschool was premature, and that this source of joy in my week may well be taken from me once again.

Now, I know this is very different from being slain, but it's a matter of choosing how I am going to respond to bad news, even when it's the worst-case scenario. And what really struck me, as I looked at this passage a little more, is that Job is not saying "if." This verse is more accurately phrased, "He will surely slay me; I have no hope..."

So, what do I do when it's not a matter of "if"? Here are the things I could insert, on my Job days:

Though [the pain is hard to bear; my strength fails; my courage slips; joy is hard to hold onto; the tears flow; sleep is hard and waking is harder; the mirror is hard to face; discouragement threatens], yet will I [hope in him; trust in him; praise him; thank him; seek him; call to him; cry to him; sing for him; work for him].

You turned my wailing into dancing;
    you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, 
 that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
    Lord my God, I will praise you forever. Psalm 30:11-12

How about you? How will you respond when it's not a matter of "if"?

Honesty: Still the Best Policy

"Even children show what they are by what they do; you can tell if they are honest and good." Proverbs 20:11

Let me begin with a confession: Honesty is not something that has ever been easy for me. As a child in particular, I had a terrible time with telling the truth. Even today, when I am in a bind, my first instinct is to bend the truth a bit in order to save face; it is a victory every time I overcome that inclination and choose the truth. I have learned the hard way, living with people's lack of trust and my own guilt, how important honesty and integrity are, so perhaps this hard-won battle is why I am so firm with my children on the topic of honesty, and why the following discussion is weighing so heavily on my mind.

You see, this week I asserted that lying, particularly deliberate misrepresentation of who you are, is bad. For this, I was called narrow-minded and judgmental. I even had Matthew 7:1 quoted to me. Now, there are times when I can concede that my way might not work for someone else, that it's up for interpretation, that your perspective is valid, and so on. However, I simply cannot reconcile teaching my children to tell the truth all the time, teaching them that personal honesty and integrity in all parts of their lives is essential, and deliberate misrepresentation.

So, what is this weighty topic which spurred this intense debate?

Facebook. Namely, allowing your child to have a Facebook account before they are thirteen.

Now, I'm sure some of you are looking at the screen saying, "Seriously? That's not a big deal at all!" In fact, some of you may have helped your child get an account early yourselves.

I dealt with this question last year, when my twelve-year-old daughter's best friend, who was eleven at the time, got a Facebook account. I was told that it was "not fair." However, I told her that to get her an account I would have to lie about her age. Did she want me to be a liar? She still is unhappy about not being on Facebook, and simply cannot wait for her birthday this spring, but she no longer asks for one, because she recognizes that my integrity is at stake.

I understand that Facebook is not a huge issue, in the grand scheme of things. The person with whom I had the conflict this week even had a reasonable excuse for getting her child on early - namely, to keep her child in contact with long-distance relatives. Her reasoning goes back to a concept called "situational ethics," which basically asserts that there are no universal rights or wrongs; that each situation demands its own application of values.

Episcopal pastor Joseph Fletcher phrased situation ethics in a clearly Christian context, which says that love is the only absolute value. In his "Naturalism, situation ethics, and value theory," Fletcher asserts:

Since 'circumstances alter cases', situationism holds that in practice what in some times and places we call right is in other times and places wrong... For example, lying is not ordinarily in the best interest of interpersonal communication and social integrity, but is justifiable nevertheless in certain situations.

 I will agree with Fletcher, to a point. If telling the truth will cost someone their life or safety, I would probably lie. For example, those many people who sheltered Jews from the Nazis lied to save lives. Even Rahab lied to save the lives of the Hebrew spies in the book of Joshua. It must be understood, however, that even these "good" lies carried the potential of dire consequences.

But for the sake of convenience? Because I "know better"? Because it's something I want, or deserve, or am entitled to?

Allow me to take this issue of personal misrepresentation a little further. Allow me to offer some other scenarios, similar to getting an underage child on Facebook. We will start with the sentence, "Because I want my child to have contact with his/ her grandparents, I will lie about his/ her age to get him/ her a Facebook account." Now, I will take that sentence and substitute certain words:

•  Because I want my child to have a positive social experience, I will lie about his/ her age to get him/ her into the latest R-rated movie with his/ her friends.
• Because I want my child to have an excellent education, I will lie on his/ her college application to get him/ her into a better school.
• Because I want my child to have a good job, I will help him/ her lie about his/ her experience on his/ her resume.

 Do these sound as reasonable? Just like the Facebook account, they are all rooted in a loving motivation - the best social, academic, and employment opportunities possible. But are they right?

I heard a man on the radio this morning assert that, while Lance Armstrong was wrong to destroy the character of those who accused him of doping, he was justified in cheating and lying about it, because he had a hard life, and besides they kept making the courses harder. Situationalism. Is it right to lie and cheat because it's hard, and it's the only way to get ahead?

And consider the current case of college football star Manti Te'o. Either he misrepresented himself and devised the elaborate hoax of a fictional girlfriend in order to gin up sympathy and fame, or he had such a hoax perpetrated on him by people who misrepresented themselves to him.

Or how about politicians, who misrepresent themselves and their positions in order to get elected?

Suddenly, finding yourself on the receiving end of personal misrepresentation (dishonesty, lying) doesn't seem so reasonable.

It is positively amazing how many passages can be found in the Bible on the topics of integrity and honesty and uprightness.

"But this is what you must do: Tell the truth to each other. Render verdicts in your courts that are just and that lead to peace.  Don’t scheme against each other. Stop your love of telling lies that you swear are the truth. I hate all these things, says the Lord.” (Zechariah 8:16-17, NLT)

Here is another:

Guard my life and rescue me;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    for I take refuge in you.

May integrity and uprightness protect me,
    because my hope, Lord, is in you.  (Psalm 25:20-21)

From Proverbs 10:

Honest people are safe and secure, but the dishonest will be caught. (verse 9)

Storms come, and the wicked are blown away, but honest people are always safe. (verse 25)

The Lord protects honest people, but destroys those who do wrong. (verse 29)

Situationalism surrounds us. Our culture is filled with individualism, relative morality, and "ends justifies the means" thinking. But for me, I am choosing to develop a lifestyle of honesty and integrity, and will continue to cultivate the same in my daughters. While some things may be up to interpretation, I will continue to maintain that lying, dishonesty, misrepresentation, are wrong. It may be more difficult sometimes, but an "upright life" is actually the freer life - free from guilt, free from fear of being caught, free from loss of trust. Honesty, as they say, is the best policy.

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Give us today...

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
 Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from the evil one." (Matthew 6: 9-13)

"Give us today our daily bread."  I don't know about you, but I've typically read this with an absolutely literal bent. I've always thought of this statement as dealing simply with my daily nutrition. Lately, though, I've come to look at it in a broader sense. My daily bread is not always what I need to put on my table to feed my family. Sometimes what I need for my fortification is encouragement. Or strength. Or courage. Or joy.

You see, this summer I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer. This wasn't supposed to happen to me. Not yet, anyway. I am 39, and I have two young daughters. I'm at the busiest time in my life, and I can't afford to be sick. Not like this. Not now. I have had surgery to remove my tumor, along with lymph nodes which were also cancerous, and have just begun my chemotherapy regimen. The first of six treatments. After that, I will face radiation, and hormone therapy. I have a long, hard road ahead. So far, I've suffered no more than reduced mobility from my surgery, and minor fatigue from my chemo, but I know it will get worse.

And yet, God has consistently supplied me with my daily bread. Or perhaps, more accurately, my daily manna.

¹⁴ After the dew had gone, the desert was covered with thin flakes that looked like frost. ¹⁵ The people had never seen anything like this, and they started asking each other, “What is it?” Moses answered, “This is the bread that the Lord has given you to eat. ¹⁶ And he orders you to gather about two quarts for each person in your family—that should be more than enough.” ¹⁷ They did as they were told. Some gathered more and some gathered less, ¹⁸ according to their needs, and none was left over. ¹⁹ Moses told them not to keep any overnight. ³¹ The Israelites called the bread manna. It was white like coriander seed and delicious as wafers made with honey. (Exodus 16: 14-19, 31)

Like the manna in the Exodus story, it comes mysteriously, miraculously, not through the labor of my own hands or by my own planning. And it is always just enough for that particular need. On an afternoon when we discovered our bank account was nearly empty, the day after I had had a painful procedure, a friend showed up with a meal, not even knowing we had a need. We were given a gift card to a gas station for precisely the amount it takes to fill my car. We were gifted with a check, unasked for, that was the precise amount needed for a particular need. And those are only examples of material manna.

On the days when I feel afraid, or discouraged, or alone, or sad, or worth less because I can do less, God sends me a perfect word in a song, a Scripture, a phone call, or a card from a friend. This, too, is manna, but it is spiritual manna, and it is always just enough for the day. When I fail to seek His manna and expect to hold on to yesterday's, like the manna in the wilderness, it sours, or fails to hold the same meaning for me. Each day I need a new piece of manna. Each day I must seek Him out, and look for what He has for me for that day.

People ask me how I can stay so positive, even joyful, in the midst of my illness. My answer? My God is a God of enough. There is always enough joy, enough hope, enough strength, enough food, enough provision, enough love. And, to quote Mary Poppins, "Enough is as good as a feast."

So, wherever you find yourself, whatever struggles you find yourself in, search for God. Seek His manna. Feast on whatever "enough" God has for you. God has promised that you will be able to find Him. "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13)
 

A little humor

Just to lighten things up, here are a few pictures from the Olympic Synchronized Swimming competitions, along with some personal captions my kids and I came up with this afternoon. Enjoy!

Ohai! We know you!

DAH-ling!

 

 

Stop pulling my hair!

OMG! Invisi-burgers!

I gave you THREE chances, and now I'm going to turn you into a GOON!

POP! Goes the weasel!

OMG! Air apples, too?!?

Invisi-burgers for everyone!

Wait - Invisi-burgers have HOW many calories?!?

Oh, no, you di-n't!

I haz a puppet!

Most disturbing picture. Ever.

Okay, I lied. This one's worse.

Braaaaaains..........

You kinda scare me.

Rawr!

You did WHAT with my boyfriend?!?

Oh! Ow! The sequins are tangled!

Photos courtesy of Buzzfeed

Strengthen the Hand of the Poor and Needy

"This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: She and her daughter had pride, fullness of food, and abundance of idleness; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy." Ezekiel 16:49

I recently read an article regarding welfare, by Pastor Art Kohl.  The above passage really stood out to me, and made me think.  Most translations use the words "help" or "support", but the Amplified, Young's Literal, and King James (used above) all use the phrase "strengthen the hand."  This is a completely different nuance to the idea presented.  It makes all the difference between a hand-out and a hand up.

Our current American system is one of hand-outs.  We have entitlement assistance programs that go a long way to providing for the poor and needy among us - Social Security, Welfare, Food Stamps, Medicare, Medicaid, and so on.  There is neither relationship nor responsibility involved in the assistance.  This may fill the hands of the poor and needy, but does it strengthen them?

Consider a man who recently had extensive surgery on his dominant arm.  For the next several weeks, he will be unable to use that arm at all - he will be destitute of strength in that arm, and will need to rely on his wife for everything from getting dressed in the morning to the cutting of his meat at dinner.  However, after this time he will be expected to start strengthening his arm through physical therapy and will, hopefully, regain full use and independence of that limb.

Consider also a baby, on the cusp of mobility.  How does she strengthen her legs for walking?  Her legs are strengthened by standing, a little at a time, doing as much as she can, while holding on to her mother's or father's hands.  She cannot get strong on her own; she needs a little help.  But after a time, her legs are strong enough to carry her, and soon she will be off and running.


Perhaps this is why my favorite charities to support are Habitat for Humanity and The Heifer Project.  These are organizations which seek to strengthen the hands of those receiving assistance.  In the case of Habitat, the needy family participates in the construction of the house to be donated.  With the Heifer Project, the family that receives animals is shown how to care for that animal, and the animals provide them with a livelihood where they can sell milk, eggs, wool, or other products.

In America, we have families which are third and fourth generation welfare recipients.  Time and again I hear statistics of how difficult it is to break free from the welfare system.  If the American welfare system is strengthening hands, why are so many left so weak and powerless?  But if our system is robbing people of their strength, why do we continue to fight for it?

By providing a livelihood for the able-bodied with no expectation of effort on their part, we enfeeble them.  Muscles left unused atrophy, and this is no different. 

So, what is a Biblical approach to strengthening the hands of the poor and needy?

1.  Allow people to choose to not be helped.

  The Apostle Paul in  2 Thessalonians 3 says,

⁶ In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching you received from us. ⁷ For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, ⁸ nor did we eat anyone’s food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. ⁹ We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you to imitate. ¹⁰ For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”
¹¹ We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies. ¹² Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the food they eat.

 Note that this says "The one who is unwilling to work."  If you are capable of supporting yourself, you ought to do so, as much as possible.  There is a famous quote by Benjamin Franklin which says, "I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it.  In my youth I travelled much, and I observed in different countries, that the more public provisions were made for the poor, the less they provided for themselves, and of course became poorer. And, on the contrary, the less was done for them, the more they did for themselves, and became richer."  When we choose to provide fully for those capable, yet unwilling, of helping themselves, we discourage them from feeling capable of sustaining themselves, and we allow their hands to become weak.

2.  Take care of your own family.

Before the Great Society was implemented by President Lyndon Johnson, giving us the entitlement programs we take for granted now, it was assumed that families would support one another in times of need.  Elderly parents would be cared for by adult children, orphans would be cared for by relatives, and so on.  This is actually the Biblical model set forth in 1 Timothy 5:

⁴ But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. ⁵ The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. ⁸ Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

When we take care of our own family, both nuclear and extended, there is no need to burden the government, and, by extension, the rest of society, with their needs.  Only the truly destitute, those with no one to care for them, would need to rely on help from society at large.

3.  Leave room for the needy to find meaningful work.

In the Old Testament, when God was setting forth the rules by which society was to be formed, He made provision for the poor and needy.  Leviticus 19:9-10 says,

⁹ When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. ¹⁰ Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the foreigner. I am the Lord your God.

It is because of this provision that Ruth and Naomi were able to survive when the returned to Israel from Moab.  It was not charity that provided for them, but Ruth was able to go and gather enough food to sustain them.  Her hands were strong because the Law provided room for her to sustain herself.

Yes, there is room for that today, too.  I know a couple whose friend has been out of work for some time.  This couple has health issues that keep them from some of the more challenging tasks in maintaining their property.  Rather than hire a lawn service, they have asked their friend to do this work for them, and they intend to pay him what they would have paid a lawn service.  They have made room for their friend to find meaningful work, to keep his hands strong, and so that he can have honor in his wages. 

4. Be generous, and hold your possessions lightly.

 All the believers were together and had everything in common.  They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Acts 2:44-45. 

 This early church model is not so much one of a socialist system or a commune as one of open-handed generosity.  When we see someone in need, we ought to give to them.  When this is done in relationship, as modeled by this early church description, then all hands are strengthened together. There is no shame in need, no boasting in giving; it is all simply the natural give-and-take of loving relationship.


Now, I'm sure there are some that will say, "But what about Jesus' words in Matthew? What about:

³⁵For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me... 40Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Because again, this is a passage that is used to support government-run social welfare programs.  But Jesus never insisted that one person give to another.  He didn't demand that His disciples give to the widow who was offering her last mite to the temple.  He didn't requisition the loaves and fishes from the little boy.  Jesus' model was always one of sacrificial giving in relationship.

So the way I look at this passage from Matthew 25 is that these are those little opportunities that arise each and every day for strengthening the hands of those around us, whether those hands belong to the destitute, or only the weary.  It is up to you, and it is up to me, to strengthen the hands of the poor and needy.  And it doesn't need to be momentous to be meaningful.

What would happen if we stopped telling people, "You can't do it," and started telling them, "You must at least try"?  What would happen if we all left a little room in our dealings, so that those who are struggling could find wages with honor?  What would happen if we were all a little more generous with the stranger in our midst?  If each of us looked not only to our own needs, but also to the needs around us, would we still need the Great Society?

Perhaps we could all start looking at our homes, our extended families, our neighbors, and our towns to see how we can go beyond filling the hands of the needy, and actually making them strong.

² Help each other in troubles and problems. This is the kind of law Christ asks us to obey. ⁴ Everyone should look at himself and see how he does his own work. Then he can be happy in what he has done. He should not compare himself with his neighbor. ⁵ Everyone must do his own work. Galatians 6:2, 4-5

 

 

The Ordinary Rules of Courtesy

"Fascist!"
"Socialist!"

"Greedy pig!"
"Lazy bum!"

"Warmonger!"
"Coward!"

"Hater!"
"Sinner!"

Shall I continue?   For whatever reason, disagreements seem to end with name calling more often than not, both in the media, and in on-line debates.  I keep hearing people say that people just need to be more tolerant of other people.  Personally, I think that what we need instead is a lesson in what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. called "the ordinary rules of courtesy."

In 1963, during the Civil Rights movement, anyone who wanted to march with Dr. King was required to sign a commitment card, which contained the "Ten Commandments of Non-Violence."  I think in our current debates, we would do well to remember in particular numbers 3, 6, and 8, which are:

3. Walk and talk in the manner of love, for God is love.

6. Observe with both friend and foe the ordinary rules of courtesy.

8. Refrain from the violence of fist, tongue, or heart.

We have forgotten how to respectfully disagree.  If you do not agree with me you must be stupid, brainwashed, intolerant, judging, or a hater.  We like to claim our First Amendment Right to say and believe whatever we want, but get our knickers in a knot when someone else claims that same right in a point contrary to our own.

When my rather "Christian Conservative" values come out, I am reminded by those who disagree to go back to Matthew 7:1a, which says,  “Do not judge..."  Apparently, this means I am not to say that I think someone or something is wrong.  However, the passage goes on to say:

³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

This implies that there is a humble, respectful, right way to point out someone's error - a correct way to judge.  Consider also Galatians 6:1, which says, "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently."

This sent me on a bit of a hunt. 

First of all, I decided to look up what "judge" means.  According to Merriam-Webster, to judge is "to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises," or "to form an estimate or evaluation of."   So, based on that, along with the etymology of the word, that can't be what Jesus is saying in this oft-quoted passage from Matthew.

Next, I turned to the Amplified Bible, to see how that translation would treat the text in question.  It reads, "Do not judge and criticize and condemn others, so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned yourselves."

The nuance shown in this translation led me to believe that the original word used was not as straight-forward as the English "judge", so I went hunting for an on-line commentary.  BibleTools.org had this insight: "Some cite Matthew 7:1 as proof that we should do no judging whatsoever: "Judge not, that you be not judged." Here, the Greek word for "judge" is krino, meaning to condemn, avenge, damn, sentence, or levy a punishment."

In other words, if you disagree, do so respectfully without condemning or being harshly critical.  And allow others to disagree with you, observing the common rules of courtesy with friend and enemy alike.